When things don't go your way, they really start going awry one after the other, don't they? Its a kind of a chain reaction straight from the dark side of life. You can compare it to the cycles in a cycle stand. If the first one in the row has a wobbly stand, no matter how sturdy the remaining ones in the line are, once this one falls down, invariably every other cycle ends up on the floor. Well I guess today was just that sort of a day for me. Nothing has been going right, and thankfully the day has almost come to an end. Actually the end of the day is in my hands, it is just that I have not been able to sleep and get the day done with!. Its 1 am now and its not out of my own free will that I am awake. I am just not able to sleep. I tried closing my eyes, thinking about some of the good things in life, but somehow the 'good things' did not seem so good after all. No wonder they say that everything is in the way you look at it,right? It was just not working for me, and hence I decided that it was time to stop 'imagining that I was alright'! I got up, switched on the comp and decided to talk to my best friend. And who is that? Of course its ME. And how do I talk to myself - by writing, how else? This is one of the best ways for me to fight through a rough patch - pour out everything on my blog, and lighten my heart in doing so!
Probably this is one of those times when I really miss having a girl friend. Someone whom I can demand time from, and someone who I can wake up at any hour of the night to pour out my mind. Everyone needs someone to talk to, at certain points in their life, don't they? Unfortunately, my 'certain points' alwez crop up at unearthly hours, when I am the only one around! Well. lets get down to the facts, I dont have a girlfriend and I have to adjust with my best pal computer screen right in front of me, who seems to be displaying exactly whats on my mind in the form of letters! Its really soothing to see my sad state right in front of my eyes, growing bigger n bigger as my keyboard gets to know more about the helplessness of my situation! Actually I do not blame anyone for this situation. Its just a bad day and I am feeling its after effects, at 1 in the night! Most of my friends are asleep, and the rest are talking to their boyfriends/girlfriends, and the remaining rest have some other work to do!. The remaining 'remaining' some whom I can talk to, are in the US of A right now. Sad isnt it? But thats life. When you really need someone, the only person who will be there for you, is you. And that my friend, is the truth.
Talk about seeing the glass half full, and not half empty. What if there is absolutely no water in that glass? How would you call that? You got no option but to call out the facts, and admit your situation. The god damn glass is empty, and thats all there is to it. Its absolutely useless to pretend as though everything is just fine, and just carry on with life. Its much much better to realize the problems and try to sort it out, rather than remaining oblivious to the whole thing. My stomach is feeling a bit woozy, and I wanna puke but it just aint happening. The sensation remains, but sadly it remains only as a sensation. Wish I could puke and get it done with, but then I wished for so many other things too. Nothing happened. Maybe its not a day for wishes, its more of a 'take-what-comes-along-your-way' kind of a day. And what has come along my way, is nothing but bad luck! Still you gotta take it all and carry on, expecting more n more bad luck along the way. Sigh.. .Wish there was an option to pause life, and take a look at people around. Maybe some solace somewhere!
All said n done, the day will be over in a few minutes as the shutters in my eyes slowly roll down, on what has been a forgettable 10 hours. It could have come down much earlier, if only I had been ignorant to the troubles around me. But now, I have stayed up, given vent to my feelings and I feel much better. I really do. I will go to sleep now, and when I wake up tomorrow morning, everything will be forgotten, and my slate will be a fresh one. Its a new day and of course, its a new beginning. Nothinz gonna hold me back. The show must go on, and so it will... This funny life just keeps continuing... See you around next time, when I need someone the most, again.....
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8 comments:
hi da...........
felt a lot i can c...
my first impression : i thot u felt for not having a GF..
but on second thots... felt this to be an excellently scripted luv letter...
am sure girls who read this will fall for u da. .. !!!
but later realised... u have polambufied ur feelings... !!! so have to respect it naaa !! :-))
u r verr rite da...when u r down it seems as if everythin is against u ... but its just a momentary feeling da...once u come out of it .. u will realise that it was nothing...and that u have learnt a lott from that experience !!
have i spoken a lot ??? hehehe....
k byeeee
-Satss
Ada Paavi.. With soo much of 'feelings' and out of disgust I wrote this post... And it looked like a love letter for u eh? Dawgie :)
If at all this was a love letter, only some grief stricken woman would fall in love with it! lol.. It was just some scribblings when I was down, thats all da. Nothin else. Dint even think along the lines of 'love'. This is not to woo someone.. lol..
Anywayz, its nice to see someone lookin at it from a different perspective.. Yeah truly agree, its jus momentary. Thats why I said, u wake up in the morning, and everythingz over.. Gone, whoosh :-)
ahemm bt did u look at it this way....u cant always hav ur day rite...u need to giv others a chance too..rite??so y nt giv sum1 els a chance and jus face wat today had to offer 4 u..big deal..its only a matter of 24 hrs...wich obviously went like tht...and wen u face 1 of these days ever agn....jus remember..."only 24 hrs"..and abt the glas..i tink u failed to see the big jug of water tht was kept rite next to the glas of water...He kept it ther so tht ud see it and drink from it...bt u chose nt too....or maybe u wer ignorant..next time...remember...thers a always sumthin bettr rite next to wot u think is nt gud..did i confuse u..wel read it carefully..ul see the meanin behind it....tc johny boy!!
p.s:u don hav a girl fren..thts k....bt u sure hav this best fren....u shud hav called!!u seemed 2 hav forgoten...
shru
Shruthi sara.. Tangyu for such a sweet comment! Really nice of you to have lifted my spirits girl.. You really did!
Hehe, no way.. It dint necessitate a second read at all.. Infact the first read itself your words were crystal clear :) Hmmm, you are right shru but then, these things dont strike you when u really need them, and when u are really down, right?? If they did, no one on earth would ne 'down' at any point in their life :) Well said, I dint see the jar of water! Prolly that jar crept up after I fell asleep! hehe, kiddin.. But yes, next time I shall not restrict my sights! Advice taken!
I dint forget.. Jus that it was too late in the night, and I jus thought I'd rather fight it out myself!
Thanks a lot for the support :-)
dai jan, well im pretty much walkin in your shoes, so i know what exactly u might have felt. But there is somethign i learnt over time which id like to share, when you think ure al alone, just remember the good times u had, good times with friends and family. In that nostaligia you can sleep and look forward to creating many more of those good moments when you wake up. Tomorrow will be a brand new day, and i know u can sing along here :)
You are the only one who can define your life and u go ahead and do that well, which i know u really can.
So have fun and like i always say "yenjaai maadi".
And next time buzz even if its 1 am, rber im 3.5 hours behind :D
i get the picture...the issues in ur mind brings out the sadness in ur words....but then, theres a saying,. when its dark and theres nothing u can see, one sould always remember to turn on the lights.....and ur light could be anyone...including max...hey, u have all of us fundastics to talk to..
That was am interesting read. thanks for working down what was precisely going in my cranium last evening.
Yeah, I will not use the word 'but' , 'however', 'next day' etc cos as they say you can run , but you can't hide. While I haven't figured out the logic for it yet (if at all one exists), that days such as this one are bound to hit you in the face and u WILL take then the way you took it. True it is 24 hours, but both of us know that time holds no meaning in such a state.
I have no advice to give cos I still dont understand the root of the problem completely. May be it is with keeping yourself so occupied and surrounded with friends that you never leave yourself alone to be with YOU. YOU are your best friend as well as the "Insane You" at its best. And when it comes, I'd stop trying to motivating myself, I'd probably let the tears roll down my eyes, to let it out and then get the most peaceful sleep I could ever have.
Thats all there is to it pal !
And yes, I forgot to add... That was a "Beautiful Post".
Am glad I read it. Tc pal
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